Let’s Chat

Tell me something
How have you been copping?
Maintaining?
Being?
With everything that’s going on.
Is it stirring up old traumas?
Is it creating new worries?
Anxieties?
It’s ok if the answer is, you’ve just been.
I’ve just been, as well.
Taking everything,
every minute,
day to day
in just that way.
Because, I don’t know how,
or what
to feel.
But I know allowing myself to feel numb will be bad,
triggering.
But allowing myself to feel nothing,
is that worse?
I don’t know
Believe it or not, I don’t know everything
but you knew.
You don’t want answers.
You’re not looking for answers.
You just want some one to relate,
even if you don’t know them;
even if you do.
I relate.
so, tell me something,
how are you?

The Mayan Empire

Say No.

Have you ever been in a compromising situation?
Have you ever felt something wasn’t quite right?
Have you ever just wanted something, anything, to just stop?
I have.
It’s not uncommon for things to, not go your way and it’s ok when they don’t. It’s all about the journey. A learning process and when something, or someone places you in a position that you don’t see yourself being in, thriving in, or simply do not want to be in, you have every right to say no.
Matter of fact, I encourage you to say no.
No.
Because in that moment, it becomes less about them and more about you.
Do what helps you remain safe.
Notice how I said safe and not comfortable.
Change happens more fluid when you aren’t comfortable, however, comfort and safety are two different things.
Remember that.

The Mayan Empire

Black Lives Matter

Ok.

wow.

It’s taken me a while to write this…. or anything because like you, and many others… I’m tired and I’m angry.

I’m still, angry.

And, I wanted to be sure I’d felt everything I needed to feel in the time that I felt them and that my emotions were in the place they needed to be in so that, this post, didn’t come off sounding like another angry post.

However, if it does, so be it.

It’s not the fact that, another innocent black man lost his life at the hands of those promised to protect and serve,

But the fact that innocent black men, black women, black children, BLACK PEOPLE, continue to lose their lives at the hands of those same men and women in uniform as if, it’s a sport.

As if, there’s more black people that’ll just pop up like weeds in place of the one that’s gone.

It’s not right.

It’s not right.

And yet, it keeps happening.

It continues to happen.

And maybe my frustrations stem from the fact that it could all be avoided. It could honestly, not even be happening right now or at all if, those same people who promised to protect and serve for the benefit and welfare of the American body simply…. did that. If they just simply stopped killing us.

But, of course, that sounds like an extremely, unrealistic request.

How dare we want to be treated as a living, breathing person.

How dare we call for justice of our fellow brethren who have been shot down or suffocated or hunted and killed.

How dare we.

No.

How dare you.

How dare you treat black people as though protesting is not within our rights as American citizens thanks to the 1st Amendment of freedom of speech. How dare you use an weapon deemed illegal in the acts of war on American citizens who are expressing their right to protest. How are you continue to kill us and more than anything, how dare you continue to get away with it because the same system that was designed to protect us is the same system allowing for these officers to walk away freely from their crimes.

It’s disgusting.

However, none of this was the point of this post and before I get too deep into the passionate rabbit hole, I’m gonna bring it all back to the main point.

I had to take the time to feel my emotions in order to even begin to write this.

You all, should do the same.

While you’re spreading awareness, protesting, donating, being black… take the time to feel whatever, you need to feel, in the moment you feel it. If you don’t, it makes it almost, impossible to do the work that needs to be done which is spreading awareness. The more people know, whether they chose to acknowledge it or not, is the closer we, as a people, as black people, get to seeing and living in change. Some real, change.

Don’t let it fester.

I’m not asking, if Black Lives Matter. You know they do. I’m not just, saying, that Black Lives Matter. Again, you know they do. We wouldn’t be here on God’s green earth if otherwise.

Be angry, but don’t become angry.

 

The Mayan Empire

Wellness Checks

Maybe, it’s just me not wanting to talk to people.
Maybe, it’s just me and not wanting to socially interact.
Maybe, it’s just me getting used to this whole social distancing thing.
Maybe, it’s just me.
However,
I do not appreciate when I receive wellness check type of messages.
It’s like, reminding me that I need to be checked on and it doesn’t sit well with me.
I know, most, maybe not all of the time, they are done with pure, genuine intention. I know that.
However, I don’t get that genuine feel from those kinds of messages.
I get the, she needs to be checked on, feeling and it makes me feel… like a burden. Almost as if, I know you don’t want to… but you feel obligated to do so and then, I feel as though I’m obligated to respond with the proper answer because you’ve already made the first move by reaching out. Now, I gotta come up with something pleasing so that the conversation can continue up to standard before you feel fulfilled in checking up on me and I’m not being left alone for the next few weeks.
Again,
maybe it’s just me,
but,
if I wanted to talk or text or be heard from, I would reach out.
Let me, reach out.
I know everyone’s not like that.
I know there are people who appreciate the thought and the act of being checked on.
However, as for me, and my cell phone,
if I wanted you to know how I was doing, what I was doing, or what my plans are,
believe me, you’d know, as soon as possible.
But, don’t be like me.
If you have friends that care about you, as immensely as they possibly could and want to genuinely know how you are, with the genius desire to help you relieve any type of stress or pent up emotion that being locked in the house for months can induce, let them.
Be open and receptive to it.
Depression is serious.
Anxiety, is serious.
Mental health, as a whole, is serious.
Take it seriously.
And if no one is reaching out and you know that they won’t, it’s ok to become that friend with the pure, genuine intentions.
That goes hand in hand with knowing who your friends are.
You know who you create relationships with.
You know how the person within the relationship you share, operate and in being their friend, or their person or even just someone who cares for them, you know how they receive these type of messages or phone calls.
With that being said, don’t overstep on boundaries that have already been pre-established and, don’t shut down when someone makes the effort to reach out and check on you… even if you wish they didn’t.
The sooner you answer,
the sooner it’s all over….
… if you’re lucky.

until tomorrow,
The Mayan Empire